"After taxes, this will bring the City enough to restore automatic 5% cost of living increases for our pensioners, big salary increases for all the city workers and nursery school for everyone, including some adults of my acquaintance."
The jubilant mayor went on to unveil the architect's rendering from an overnight re-design of the Providence River footbridge. "We wanted this bridge to make a big statement, an announcement to the world that Providence, the Renaissance City, was about to be reborn as the Re-Renaissance City. I've ordered construction to begin immediately; we have waited far too long for this!"
Asked for his reaction to the new design, Providence Journal Architectural Critic David Brussat was speechless. Catching his breath, he gasped, "It takes my breath away! While lacking a decent entablature or pediment, it has a welcome semblance of Georgian order. I delight in there being no hint of starchitecture, no Gheryishness. Too bad it has no columns, but it will certainly star in my column this week."